Not Again
by Kallie Jacobs
Summary: Duo and Quatre share a quiet moment by the fire. For 30 Kisses.


**Title:** Someday You Might Find Me  
**Author/Artist:** Akari Hoshi  
**Pairing: **Duo Maxwell/Quatre R. Winner  
**Fandom:** Gundam Wing  
**Theme:** #1 Look over here  
**Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing does not belong to me…I don't know what I'd do with it even if it did. I'd probably break it or something horrible.  
**Author Note:** This was written for 30kisses, a livejournal community.

The room was silent. That fact alone had Quatre on edge. Duo was never quiet unless there was something heavy on his mind. The braided pilot had returned from his mission and had gone straight to his room. He had missed supper and hadn't come to the door when Quatre had brought him his tray. He had emerged only a few minutes ago, his eyes strangely red rimmed. He flopped into the large over stuffed recliner near the fireplace and had been staring into the flames ever since.

"Did he eat, at least?" Heero asked quietly. He finished drying the plate in his hand and put it away.

Quatre shook his head. "No. He just left the tray outside his door."

"Hn. I've got a mission in the morning. Wake me if…" he paused. "On second thought, don't wake me. I'm sure it's nothing." With that, the perfect soldier went down the hall to the sleeping quarters.

The Arabian pilot sighed. He was at a loss as to what to do for Duo. When one of the other four pilots was upset, the cheerful boy was the one to distract them and make them smile. What to do when the jester cries?

"Duo? I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?" Quatre asked.

Duo gave the smallest of nods. Quatre smiled. _Well, that's an improvement. At least he's responding. _He went through the motions of making tea, adding more honey than was necessary to Duo's, just the way the braided pilot liked it. He carried the mugs into the living area and handed one to Duo, who nodded in thanks.  
Quatre took a seat next to him. "Duo, what happened?" he asked, almost instantly regretting his words. _Real slick, Quatre._

"They gave me the wrong coordinates," Duo said quietly. He took a sip of his tea. He smiled a very sad smile. "Perfect. Thanks, Q."

"You were supposed to hit an arms storage facility, right? Some where near the Red Sea?"

Duo nodded. "They gave me the wrong coordinates. I destroyed a military hospital. There were women and children in there…and I killed them all." Tears started to flow down his cheeks, unchecked and unnoticed.

Quatre sat frozen, stunned by what he had just heard. "Didn't you have a visual confirmation of the building? Didn't Trowa spend _days_ inside the facility, mapping out _every_thing?"

"Yeah, Q, he did. And they sent me everything I needed. Too bad the bastards didn't see fit to inform me that every fucking building on that damn street looked the same. The moron who typed up my orders had been off by one fucking number and I blew up a fucking hospital."

Quatre winced with every curse Duo uttered. It wasn't like him to use language like that; just another indication of his distress. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder. "Duo, you didn't know. It's not your fault."

"Women and children, Q. I killed them. Innocents. All of them…innocent."

Quatre squeezed his shoulder. "Look over here, Duo. Look at me."

The American turned his head slightly and looked Quatre in the eye. The blonde took a steadying breath and said,

"This is war, Duo. Lots of innocent people get killed. Even the men in the arms facility you were to destroy…some of them haven't even seen active combat. I'm not saying this to justify what happened. It's a tragedy, no mistake, but in war, innocents suffer. There's nothing we can do to change that."

Duo was quiet for a few minutes. "Is that how you sleep at night?" he asked finally.

"It's the only thing that keeps me going."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

It was Quatre's turn to be silent. That was something that Instructor H had always told him. In war, innocents suffer. The instructor would always say he wasn't trying to be cruel, only pragmatic. Was that really how he felt? Did he really feel that it was something he couldn't change?

"I…I don't…"

Duo shook his head. "The world isn't so black and white, Quatre. Just because something is inevitable, doesn't mean it doesn't tear a person up when it happens." He reached out and brushed Quatre's hair off his forehead. He leaned across and placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead. "Thanks, Q. I feel better." He grinned. "Damn…I'm hungry. Got any leftovers?" The American pilot jumped up and bounded into the kitchen.

Quatre sat there in the dim living room, staring into the flames of the fireplace. He touched shaking fingers to the spot where Duo had kissed him. _Oh God… _he thought._ Not again…_


End file.
